Book Review: Better Sex Through Mindfulness - Dr Lori A. Brotto
Continuing our theme of mindfulness and sex (if you missed the last blog, check it out!), I want to share one of my all-time favourite books on the subject:
Better Sex Through Mindfulness by clinical psychologist and sexual health researcher, Dr. Lori A. Brotto.
Book cover of Better Sex Through Mindfulness By Dr Lori A. Brotto.
This book is like a breath of fresh air. It’s compassionate, grounded in science, and full of empowering, practical tools for people* struggling with low sexual desire, sexual disconnection, sex after trauma, or lack of sexual fulfilment. It explores how mindfulness – the practice of paying attention to the present without judgement – can radically transform how we experience our bodies, our pleasure, and our relationships. Sounds great right?
We live in a world that tells us if we are not spontaneously turned on all the time, we are broken. But Lori beautifully challenges this notion with evidence to suggest that desire is something we don’t just “have”, it’s something we cultivate.
Lori’s research found that through mindfulness, people can tune into sensations to enhance sexual connection and satisfaction and naturally cultivate desire. This book will take you through the research (in an uncomplicated way) and give you the tools to try it yourself.
This book is especially helpful for:
Individuals experiencing low libido
People who feel numb or disconnected during sex
Survivors of sexual trauma looking to reconnect with their bodies
Anyone curious about mindful masturbation or pleasure-focused intimacy
Couples with mismatched libidos or communication challenges
Through relatable stories, scientific research, and simple mindfulness exercises, Brotto introduces tools like breathwork, body scans, and present-moment awareness to help people reconnect with their sexual selves.
Key Insight: Rethinking Desire
One of the most powerful themes in the book is:
“Desire doesn’t always precede arousal – it can follow it.”
This concept alone can be super liberating and empowering for those who believe something is “wrong” with them because they don’t spontaneously crave sex. Desire grows from being present, open and attuned – not from pressure or performance.
Sound incredible? Grab your copy here:
If you're exploring your sexual desire, healing from sexual trauma, or looking to reconnect with your body and pleasure, I offer therapeutic support tailored to your needs. Get in touch to book a session or learn more.
*This book uses the term “women”, however, in this blog post, I use the term “people” as the insights from this book apply to all genders.